Nurit Kahana about "After The Silence", Oct. 2011

After The Silence - To Do the Unthinkable
The annual International Film Festival which opened on October 13, 2011 in Haifa will run a unique documentary film, "After the Silence". Produced by Marcus Vetter, a German director who also directed "The Heart of Jenin", the film will be screened at 6.30 pm on October 19th in the Tikotin Japanese Museum.
Letter from Nurit Kahana, October 2011:

The film depicts one of those rare acts by outsiders to the political arena: a visit to the Heart of Darkness - the house of the murderer of your husband as a gesture of reconciliation and peace with his family.
Only the unique personality of Dov Chernobroda, the architect and peace activist to whom the film was dedicated, and who was murdered in a terror attack at the Matza restaurant in Haifa in 2002, made this unbelievable meeting possible. The grief over his death did not extinguish hope in the heart of Yael, his wife. She managed to pull herself together and started the process of preparing the visit to the suicide bomber's family in Jenin. Dov's eldest son Yoav Chernobroda joined her, as a gesture of commemoration and solidarity with his father's struggle to achieve a dialogue between the two peoples.

"I struggled very much within myself. But when I asked myself what Dov, my husband, would do if he were alive, the answer was that he would go there. So I decided to do it – to act according to his beliefs," says Yael, a bright, soft-spoken, yet determined woman.
On a personal note, I knew Dov and his first wife, Ilana, who died from cancer in 1998. She was an educator and a brave social and political activist - they shared the struggle for peace. They were our neighbors and our friends in a multi-story building for young couples. Dov loved life. He was an artist at heart who now and then exhibited original and avant-garde sculptures. A socially-engaged architect who helped solve construction problems in Arab communities, he was active in both political parties with a social agenda, first in "Mapam" and later in "Meretz". With his great sense of humor, it was always a pleasure to have a conversation with him. He was of medium height and always looked younger than his age, and all the neighborhood children envied his three children, Yoav, Adi and Saul for the unique experiences that he gave them - bonfires and adventures: he knew what children want. Ilana lent her support with an openness stemming from her progressive beliefs about education. Their home was on the 13th floor of our multi-story building, one of the most beautiful and well-designed apartments in that building. The house always bustled with life; all matters were discussed in an open- minded atmosphere.
Yael immigrated to Israel from France when she was young, in 1976, after finishing her studies at the University of Strasbourg. Solidarity with Israel and a deep curiosity about everything related to the Jewish people led her to make the decision. She converted to Judaism and became an Israeli, and went through its wars. A daughter of a NATO employee, she was raised in a town near Baden-Baden. For many years she ran the Library of the National Building Research Institute at the Technion’s Faculty of Civil Engineering.
A late love lit up the lives of Yael and Dov. They met already in 1988 while they were both active in "Mapam" and later in "Meretz". They got close, moved in together and after his death Yael was recognized as his common-law wife.

Then came terrible times of the terror attacks - suicide crimes committed with the intent to kill. The attacks took place in buses and restaurants crowded with civilians who had nothing whatsoever to do with politics and most of whom were educated with messages of hope for peace in the region. They were attacked when they got up in the morning to take the bus or while sitting down in a cafe.
"I have only you. Please do not forget it. Take care." were Yael's last words to Dov, before she left to meet her family in France. When she saw him in her car's mirror, on her way to the airport, she had a presentiment that this would be the last time she’d see him. Those were times of murderous attacks. Hearing in France about the Matza restaurant terror attack, she had a hunch that Dov was killed there. This was a restaurant he used to visit every week. It happened in the afternoon of March 31, 2002, during Passover. Shadi Tobassi, the murderer of Dov had no problem traveling from Jenin to Haifa, a distance of only about 40 miles. Only a few tens of kilometers separate so many walls of hostility and opposing political views.
According to a description by his family, Shadi was an "ordinary" boy. He regarded soldiers standing at crossings as occupiers. Having lost his best friend on the second intifada, he was determined to become a "martyr" – a hero of the struggle of the Palestinians – and to commit suicide. According to family members, he drove to Haifa without sharing his plans with any of them and without a farewell. His destination was the Grand Canyon, the largest shopping center of the city. Tight security arrangements on Passover at that time drove him towards the nearby Matza restaurant. This Arabic restaurant is situated on the slopes of Mount Carmel. Dov passed there every day on his way to his work.
Harsh noises cut through the air when the explosion startled the Mount Carmel area, and everybody who heard them hoped that they came from a nearby construction site. But they weren’t. Shadi blew himself up at "Matzah", killing 15 people, including Dov.

Eight years have passed since the disaster and only now is Yael ready "to bid farewell to Dov," as she puts it. After a chance meeting with Marcus Vetter, director of the film "The Heart of Jenin", at a screening event in Haifa, the idea to make a sequel to the movie was born - this time from the perspective of the conflict in Israel. "The Heart of Jenin" deals with the parents of a Palestinian child accidentally killed by the IDF in Jenin after the terror attack in the Matzah restaurant, who decided to donate his organs to Israeli children as a gesture of reconciliation. The story really touched Yael. It gave her the idea of meeting with the parents of her husband's killer - also as a gesture of reconciliation and commemoration of Dov, who used to say, "The conflict will never end until we talk."

Vetter entrusted the task of directing the movie to Stephanie Burger and Jule Ott - two young directors from Germany, and to Manal Abdullah, a Palestinian Director.
On April 8, 2010, after a phone call between Yael and Shadi‘s father, she started out for Jenin. In a relaxed atmosphere she drove, accompanied by her friend, the poet Bluma Finkelstein, Dov's son Yoav and the film crew. Twenty suicide bombers came out of Jenin in the second intifada. The place was considered extremely hostile to Israelis. The small group had to sign a waiver to the effect that if anything happened to one of its members while in the West Bank, it would be at their own risk.

Shadi‘s father welcomed Yael and the others at the entrance to the house. After Yael agreed to come to Tubassi, she asked that she would not have to see the picture of her husband's killer; and she had another request - that the children and grandchildren of the killer’s parents would be present at the meeting. Immediately upon entering she saw that the picture of the murderer was removed. And in fact, all the children and grandchildren were there. The conflict was evident at every step, with every word and symbol. This was not a relaxed meeting. The father said that he learned about the attack at the Matza Restaurant as he listened to the radio in the car when he returned from work in Israel. He used to have an entry permit into Israel and an Israeli identity card but lost them as a result of the attack. His son’s act had made it impossible for him to earn a living since there was no work for him in his hometown Jenin.

When Yael met the suicide bomber, mother Umm Amjad – she held her hand and never left her until the end of the meeting. "To me, Shady's mother is first of all a mother," Yael said after the meeting. "She raised three sons and three daughters. She has many grandchildren. It’s only Shady who murdered, not her family, I try to avoid generalizations.”
Shadi's father and Yoav talk to each other. Yoav is able to touch the heart of the father and he has tears in his eyes. Time is running out. During the charged meeting Yael and Umm Amjad walk the streets hand in hand. Yael bids farewell with the word "Shalom", "peace" and the Tobassi Family answers, "Salem".

Yael considers the meeting to be crucial for her future. It helped her let go. Gradually, that chapter in her life is closing. Her mission is completed. Her journey from Baden Baden to Haifa and Jenin is one more link in the chain of attempts to change the nature of the inherent hostility between the Intifada’s offenders and its victims, and one more step towards creating a future of reconciliation after the worst has happened.

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